the ache is sharp in moments
the sky is darkening
and sharp when the sun
is shining
the wretchedness overtakes me
at times when the clouds are storming
and even when the stars
are sparkling
what am i doing with my life?
am i making choices or just moving along
at the insistence of my duty?
where will it carry me?
where will i be?
will i be ok? truly?
the soul knows
it’s being ripped away
from things that felt safe, like home
and trying to ignore this painful fact
and make it a happy occasion instead,
is taking all of my strength
it’s the upkeep
that’s fatiguing
disappearing seems easier
and sleeping feels like being gone
to myself
and that’s the most inviting to me
right now…
be here
be here
be here
you will be okay
it can only be figured out
taking it day by day
close your eyes if you must
use it to rest
release the fear of everyone
moving on and away from you
forcing love is not what you ever do
girl, that’s just not you
so close your eyes if you must
until you feel safe enough to open them, again
- les’nspired
