Pill

It WAS perfect,
wasn't it?
How can I
forget it?

So, send me a pill
filled with the curse
you carry.
Fill it to the
very brim.
So that I can forget
the way you do.
And move on fully
from within.

So I can forget
joyful expressions
kind eyes
caring hands,
and that there exists
in this world
that kind of soul
in a man.

Please, I beg you.
Send me a pill.
I will take it quickly.
I promise I will.

Because the life I live
begs only that I wait
and do nothing but sit
full of love and hate.
Until you create a way
to comfort me in this state.

I feared you would forget me
And anything I could have ever meant.
And now I am wracked with sobs
because it is my heart that can't forget.

It doesn't care that you don't love
me the same anymore.
It doesn't care that I am alone
in this as before.
That I am standing on the other side
of a closed door.
And that your eyes will never again smile at me
as if I am adored.
The person you are now,
I don't know.
It is the person I knew
that my heart aches for.

Send me that pill,
that cursed drug and saving grace,
Let me take it and forget
The most perfect moments of time and space.

Let me be ignorant
that we ever existed.
I prefer to not have loved at all
Than to know what I am missing.

-aq

Deep Breath

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A post shared by @lesnspired on Aug 27, 2019 at 5:40am PDT

Healing File

May my God 
care for memories 
that keep getting lodged
within the hidden places
of my heart.
May he help me tuck them
neatly away 
in my own healing
file labeled:
The Past.

-aq

Call me Resilience

What can I say?
As much as I try,
my heart is the same.
I need an overhaul
better yet, a removal,
and to change my name.

So that I am not me
But someone stronger,
And more resilient.
Instead of someone who
runs and hides and cries,
And sits in sentiment.