bless-ed ways

some things come by 

sweeping you up like a wave 

so big 

you just have to dive under 

and there you find the calm 

away from the crash 

you won’t sink 

you’ll swim 

and you know 

you’ll come back up 

for air, again 

for the weary

ah yes, honey,

i recognize heartache 

bring your pain right in here 

if it’s getting too much to take 

i can put my hands over my eyes

and pretend not to see you cry 

one step

one step 

deep breath

all i have in me

this time

is one step 

open my eyes 

won’t always be a pretty sunrise

but if i could just stand up 

take one step

it can be alright 

blessings

may the person you want 

be the person you need 

may they respond in a way

that quiets your insecurity

rooms

layers of dust have begun to

gather in the corners

there are books filled with words

no one ever remembered

the couch is worn

and tattered on the arms

the rug has thinned over time

where the tv sat flickering on

beginnings

he chuckled soft and low

and she became shy

it was that morning voice

on the line

i know

dear one

let me hold your hand through it 

i know 

i know 

in the grand scheme of things 

it’s not so big 

let’s step back a moment 

and look at all the wonderful moments

the beauty that is this big life 

fall in line

if the bigger picture 

would sit heavily upon my chest 

so that what is most important 

could bear the most weight 

and i am always aware of it,

perhaps my perspective 

could never be lost 

and my heart would 

much more easily 

fall in line 

leading lady

she fainted 

not once or twice 

but three times 

the morning she faced it 

it hit her like 

a ton of bricks 

a freight train 

a lack of oxygen

or dehydration, apparently 

what does he know

he tries to make her laugh 

with all his funny stories

he is eager to know her

even with all her misgivings

he has a lovely disposition

an easy manner, a caring heart

but she knows he's meeting

a beaten down woman in a mask

of smiles and strawberry fields

sincerity

you are all of what

it takes to build

the gentle soul

of a kind heart

and where many 

will claim to hold

the title of many skills

it is this that shines

to matter

I never wanted to matter too much

but just enough

to matter at all

dear one

my heart is full 

when she pulls me close 

and calls me “dear one”

such tender regard 

from a pure heart 

and i feel cherished 

for who i am,

seen, and valued 

let them, let you

please do not choose for someone else 

who they can befriend

who they should love 

do not decide for them 

that you are too much

or worst of all, 

that you are not enough 

communication

“you hurt me. 

you really hurt me.”

this is how it is said 

“i am sorry. 

i’m truly sorry.”

this is how it amends  

excerpt

he tried again

it was to his disgrace

for no woman is okay

being second place

Nocitzin

abuelita 

time was not on our side 

i was too young to ask

and then quickly you were too old

to remember 

when you were just a young girl

what were your dreams?

what were the stories your grandmother told you 

about living in a teepee?

sweet parts

oh it’s the joy in that sunshine

hits you right along your smiling face 

it’s the sweet warm breeze 

hugging you with abandon 

it’s the happy in the birdsong

and the hops of baby goats 

it’s the sleepy yawn of puppies

and the leaping bodies of whales 

loyal love

i trust You 

and i love You 

and that means 

from here on out 

i do whatever 

You want me to 

observation mode

sometimes 

you are at a loss 

you step back and realize 

you’ve made no difference 

you ask what was it all for?

was it just moving time along?

was it all delusion?

where was the lesson? 

because at the very least, there must be a lesson

Dear Sunshine

Dear Sunshine 

follow me to the southeast 

where water is flowing 

in abundance 

where the laughter of children

can be heard upon the beach 

and my feet will be firmly planted 

in the sand 

pinterest

scoured my pinterest 

just to find bits of me 

that no one else knew,

my favorite quotes and thoughts 

pinned, life’s quandaries,

words, and points of view 

water days

water running down my face

to land in a lake 

hold my hands tight into fists 

tonight, there’s little fight in me 

decide to give up myself

there’s nothing else to give 

i’m empty of everything 

i thought id need to live 

when i wanted to

when i wanted to know you 

i wanted to know all of you 

the inside to the outside 

the in- between and shamefaced things 

intention

so you’ve had a hard week

and the sentiments are at your feet 

hoping you’ll keep picking them up

and keep feeding them a treat 

but you will try so hard, instead 

to leave them to play dead

while you turn to the things the day calls for 

while you bite into fresh bread …

tender and strong

being both tender and strong 

seems a rarity 

but how to incorporate them

in the core of me

so that i’m gentle and kind 

loving and sweet 

but full of courage and strength

for all the challenges i must meet 

connection

connection came from within me 

and will do so again

this quality at times feels cruel to its host

and not always like my friend 

but when it learns to love a kind soul

i realize the good by its hand 

until

until you peer into your soul

and see my own

will you understand

you are not a mistake

i’m sorry, little one 

that it happened the way it did 

that you did not see love in a pair of eyes

or see comfort as it should have been

somewhere down the line

you were convinced you were only in the way 

and no one held you tight 

and told you “I love you. Stay.”

thorn

i work so hard every day 

to beat the old patterns 

of bygone days 

each time i open my eyes 

it’s to a battle of wills 

and desperate sighs 

park

a little boy calls to a puppy 

as he runs in the grass 

i’m sitting in a swing 

and the breeze is blowing past

there’s a chill in the air 

a cardinal sings high in a tree 

“i’m here! I’m here, here, here!” says he 

E.I.

she wept before him

and he asked her why;

he could read her heart

and even still, he waited for her answer 

then, 

may she be blessed with the basics

may a girl be loved 

openly, honestly 

and full of tenderness 

cherished 

without a doubt 

so she would not question it 

seeing

holding space

for all i wanted life to be 

for seeing it as it is 

and for letting it all go 

keep digging

until you realize what matters 
you have to go deep inside 
and if you still don’t know 
it means you just have to keep digging

back to the foundation 
the very root of your existence 
everything we have has all been given
gifts we just keep re-gifting 

quiet love

it is a quiet love

that beats within my chest 

it speaks of precious times

and forgiveness 

i am listening

for the reassurances 

and i am overwhelmed 

with thankfulness 

interplay

I didn't always know how to respond

when they made me feel like I belonged

I knew one day they'd take it back

and act as if they never once loved me at all

It's the cycle I know well

as if it is my middle name

and yet I am always hoping for better

and believing in more all the same

listen

listen quietly for the example 

walk behind it all your life

the moon, full and bright,

hangs upon a glorious night

look up, look up

it will be alright

there are promises here

and they will save your life