sincerity

you are all of what

it takes to build

the gentle soul

of a kind heart

and where many 

will claim to hold

the title of many skills

it is this that shines

to matter

I never wanted to matter too much

but just enough

to matter at all

dear one

my heart is full 

when she pulls me close 

and calls me “dear one”

such tender regard 

from a pure heart 

and i feel cherished 

for who i am,

seen, and valued 

let them, let you

please do not choose for someone else 

who they can befriend

who they should love 

do not decide for them 

that you are too much

or worst of all, 

that you are not enough 

communication

“you hurt me. 

you really hurt me.”

this is how it is said 

“i am sorry. 

i’m truly sorry.”

this is how it amends  

excerpt

he tried again

it was to his disgrace

for no woman is okay

being second place

Nocitzin

abuelita 

time was not on our side 

i was too young to ask

and then quickly you were too old

to remember 

when you were just a young girl

what were your dreams?

what were the stories your grandmother told you 

about living in a teepee?

sweet parts

oh it’s the joy in that sunshine

hits you right along your smiling face 

it’s the sweet warm breeze 

hugging you with abandon 

it’s the happy in the birdsong

and the hops of baby goats 

it’s the sleepy yawn of puppies

and the leaping bodies of whales 

loyal love

i trust You 

and i love You 

and that means 

from here on out 

i do whatever 

You want me to 

observation mode

sometimes 

you are at a loss 

you step back and realize 

you’ve made no difference 

you ask what was it all for?

was it just moving time along?

was it all delusion?

where was the lesson? 

because at the very least, there must be a lesson

Dear Sunshine

Dear Sunshine 

follow me to the southeast 

where water is flowing 

in abundance 

where the laughter of children

can be heard upon the beach 

and my feet will be firmly planted 

in the sand 

pinterest

scoured my pinterest 

just to find bits of me 

that no one else knew,

my favorite quotes and thoughts 

pinned, life’s quandaries,

words, and points of view 

water days

water running down my face

to land in a lake 

hold my hands tight into fists 

tonight, there’s little fight in me 

decide to give up myself

there’s nothing else to give 

i’m empty of everything 

i thought id need to live 

when i wanted to

when i wanted to know you 

i wanted to know all of you 

the inside to the outside 

the in- between and shamefaced things 

intention

so you’ve had a hard week

and the sentiments are at your feet 

hoping you’ll keep picking them up

and keep feeding them a treat 

but you will try so hard, instead 

to leave them to play dead

while you turn to the things the day calls for 

while you bite into fresh bread …

tender and strong

being both tender and strong 

seems a rarity 

but how to incorporate them

in the core of me

so that i’m gentle and kind 

loving and sweet 

but full of courage and strength

for all the challenges i must meet 

connection

connection came from within me 

and will do so again

this quality at times feels cruel to its host

and not always like my friend 

but when it learns to love a kind soul

i realize the good by its hand 

until

until you peer into your soul

and see my own

will you understand

you are not a mistake

i’m sorry, little one 

that it happened the way it did 

that you did not see love in a pair of eyes

or see comfort as it should have been

somewhere down the line

you were convinced you were only in the way 

and no one held you tight 

and told you “I love you. Stay.”

thorn

i work so hard every day 

to beat the old patterns 

of bygone days 

each time i open my eyes 

it’s to a battle of wills 

and desperate sighs 

park

a little boy calls to a puppy 

as he runs in the grass 

i’m sitting in a swing 

and the breeze is blowing past

there’s a chill in the air 

a cardinal sings high in a tree 

“i’m here! I’m here, here, here!” says he 

E.I.

she wept before him

and he asked her why;

he could read her heart

and even still, he waited for her answer 

then, 

may she be blessed with the basics

may a girl be loved 

openly, honestly 

and full of tenderness 

cherished 

without a doubt 

so she would not question it 

seeing

holding space

for all i wanted life to be 

for seeing it as it is 

and for letting it all go 

keep digging

until you realize what matters 
you have to go deep inside 
and if you still don’t know 
it means you just have to keep digging

back to the foundation 
the very root of your existence 
everything we have has all been given
gifts we just keep re-gifting 

quiet love

it is a quiet love

that beats within my chest 

it speaks of precious times

and forgiveness 

i am listening

for the reassurances 

and i am overwhelmed 

with thankfulness 

interplay

I didn't always know how to respond

when they made me feel like I belonged

I knew one day they'd take it back

and act as if they never once loved me at all

It's the cycle I know well

as if it is my middle name

and yet I am always hoping for better

and believing in more all the same

listen

listen quietly for the example 

walk behind it all your life

the moon, full and bright,

hangs upon a glorious night

look up, look up

it will be alright

there are promises here

and they will save your life

proud

All that you’ve been through 

to get to this point…

How could I be anything other than proud?

- Les’nspired 

full of soul

may i have all the love 

within me 

full of gratitude 

And modesty

let it lead me to 

my cherished hope 

and anchor me 

with dignity 

the view

I want you to sit a moment

  and just breathe--

take all the love you have

  and let it flow with ease

I know, dear, I know

  life can be so difficult

Things can tend to require such effort

  one day a breeze, the next a tumult

don't we?

How to simplify matters

so that it's easy again

I think the truth lies quiet

within the shelter of a friend

We come to know one another well  

Our weaknesses and our strengths

And we help each other by celebrating

each and every win

blooming cultivation

I once held being wronged as a secret so long

just so others were not hurt

Put everyone else above

my own worth

I learned my Father would not allow it

He has defended me since birth

In time, he protects

and helps me climb up from the dirt

strengthened

my heart was strengthened 

by your love 

and given wings to attempt to fly,

and every time 

that darn cliché came to light

i thought i might slip up and cry 

shady business

i won’t pretend 

to misunderstand 

just so it’s comfy where you’re at    

if you don’t see the “i know”

inside my soul

i won’t convince you, comrade 

best friend,

best friend,

sometimes life is inexplicably complex 

and the issues are knotted up 

it can take us some time to figure it out

or how to do better next time 

best friend,

sometimes we are hard on ourselves 

because we hurt others with our good 

and selfish intentions and we know inside 

we were just trying to be loved 

saving grace

my world crumbling like sugar cookies 

like mexican bread 

like last year’s autumn foliage 

and i’m still smiling 

because my heart 

is still beating 

data

not the plan

but maybe it's crucial data

not the solution

but perhaps valid information

shinrai

it can feel sad and a bit unfair 

that at times we won't know another's true depth

where the heart goes in times of trouble 
where the mind rests in times of peace 

for some it may go elsewhere authentically 
and is happy to lie somewhere just above or beneath 

calm waters of a vast sea 
that is a nice place to lean back and float 

or tread water easily… relaxing 

when does it end?

you have always lived your life 
making it easier for everyone else 

girl, when will you stop? 

hard lessons

on bended knees 

is where life may find me 

thrown about for what it is

and what it could be 

but most of all after everything 

i hate most that people back up and say 

that it’s all just me 

renewable resources

I think there is a space

full of hope and love

that exists within

each of us

Whether it is tapped into

or left dormant and still

is up to every person

and their free will

meditations

it was in the pausing

that i knew i was loved

it was in the silent meditation

that confirmed i did my part