proud

All that you’ve been through 

to get to this point…

How could I be anything other than proud?

- Les’nspired 

full of soul

may i have all the love 

within me 

full of gratitude 

And modesty

let it lead me to 

my cherished hope 

and anchor me 

with dignity 

the view

I want you to sit a moment

  and just breathe--

take all the love you have

  and let it flow with ease

I know, dear, I know

  life can be so difficult

Things can tend to require such effort

  one day a breeze, the next a tumult

don't we?

How to simplify matters

so that it's easy again

I think the truth lies quiet

within the shelter of a friend

We come to know one another well  

Our weaknesses and our strengths

And we help each other by celebrating

each and every win

blooming cultivation

I once held being wronged as a secret so long

just so others were not hurt

Put everyone else above

my own worth

I learned my Father would not allow it

He has defended me since birth

In time, he protects

and helps me climb up from the dirt

strengthened

my heart was strengthened 

by your love 

and given wings to attempt to fly,

and every time 

that darn cliché came to light

i thought i might slip up and cry 

shady business

i won’t pretend 

to misunderstand 

just so it’s comfy where you’re at    

if you don’t see the “i know”

inside my soul

i won’t convince you, comrade 

best friend,

best friend,

sometimes life is inexplicably complex 

and the issues are knotted up 

it can take us some time to figure it out

or how to do better next time 

best friend,

sometimes we are hard on ourselves 

because we hurt others with our good 

and selfish intentions and we know inside 

we were just trying to be loved 

saving grace

my world crumbling like sugar cookies 

like mexican bread 

like last year’s autumn foliage 

and i’m still smiling 

because my heart 

is still beating 

data

not the plan

but maybe it's crucial data

not the solution

but perhaps valid information

shinrai

it can feel sad and a bit unfair 

that at times we won't know another's true depth

where the heart goes in times of trouble 
where the mind rests in times of peace 

for some it may go elsewhere authentically 
and is happy to lie somewhere just above or beneath 

calm waters of a vast sea 
that is a nice place to lean back and float 

or tread water easily… relaxing 

when does it end?

you have always lived your life 
making it easier for everyone else 

girl, when will you stop? 

hard lessons

on bended knees 

is where life may find me 

thrown about for what it is

and what it could be 

but most of all after everything 

i hate most that people back up and say 

that it’s all just me 

renewable resources

I think there is a space

full of hope and love

that exists within

each of us

Whether it is tapped into

or left dormant and still

is up to every person

and their free will

meditations

it was in the pausing

that i knew i was loved

it was in the silent meditation

that confirmed i did my part

your peace

not when you are burdened

with what i hold

or scared of all

that i've already told

not when to see me 

is to sigh inside

or when the thought of conversing

leaves your throat hesitant and dry

pieces

perhaps all that

 i give of myself

does not make me wonderful

 but makes me pitiful

every nuance

every little nuance

that makes you exactly you 

is a cherished bit of the puzzle 

a masterpiece in view 

connecting all the pieces 

is the exciting mystery 

the challenge and the treasures

in the rewarding discovery

in spite of

oh, to some, sweetheart

you might seem 

to be the most incapable of women 

but you and I know differently  

you survived 

you are winning

you have looked into the eyes 

of neglect and bitterness 

and have smiled anyway

and it is with a pure and kind heart 

that you’ve learned to love

despite what life has had to say 

little

i have never heard so little

and understood so much 

negligence

it was time passing

and bit by bit

I was disappearing

soon I would not bear

to look at myself in the mirror

Why was I even here?

life flew around me

like I was on a merry-go-round

but my eyes were covered and I bunkered down

and it kept being pushed faster and faster

insomnia

woke up at 2, then at 3

and once again at 4

let my head hit this pillow 

and overthink no more…

what happened, what did it mean,

and what is the score?

is life truly this uncharacteristic 

of all i’ve known before?

vinyl 💽

how does she tell him

so that he’ll understand

he holds the hope and the end

in the palm of his hand?

if it’s from a sincerity of heart 

then bring it in real close 

but if you will cause damage

forget everything you know 

if it doesn’t feel like honor 

if it doesn’t feel special…

love language

if your arms are open wide 

i’m coming in

burrowing into your soul

and making myself at home 

hyper-empathy

the feeling is 

kind of gross 

as he sits 

upon her toes 

my insides will turn inside out 

bend over, retch it out 

music to me

it’s to the sound of gentle rain

that i sleep at night 

and to the music of birdsong 

that i wake with the sunlight 

sara b on the playlist 

that i sing to when the mood is right 

and your voice is just the thing 

to make me feel all will be alright 

soldier

it is a wonderful feeling 

to be on the track of something 

and receive words of likeness

within encouragement and reassurance 

oh, life and its sudden synchronicity!

it is the building of armor 

it is looking down to find

the sword has been in my hand all along

and wielding it is not so difficult after all 

letting go

can you give people 

the benefit of the doubt?

even when their actions 

bring all your fears about?

it’s stepping out of your thoughts 

towards mercy and understanding 

it’s leaving old patterns behind 

while knowing even if all the fears were true,

you will be make it through 

friend i miss you with all my heart

friend 

i will think of you 

when everyone treats me differently 

and remember you told me

“Let them!”

friend 

i will think of you 

when i forget i matter to anyone 

and remember you used to hug me

tightest of all 

commiserating

he told me he was done with trying 

been there. done that. 

invested and lost track 

of all he did to try and find it

he said he no longer 

thinks so hard about it 

has given up 

because it’s never panned out 

it must mean it’s not for him 

biggest fan

you will stumble and fall 
and feel like no one at all 
you see only your flaws

she will grab your hand
and tell you take another chance 
and clap the loudest for you in the stands 

over it

i will no longer walk

like a burden for anyone 

i hold my head high 

even if it’s with a sigh

even with tears in my eyes 

another day 

and i’ll drag my body to love 

And fight to hold on

to the joy in my heart 

ptsd

it is that life moved on

and people kept on

and again and again

the same wave hit

and now I tremble with it

one day maybe it won't affect

but right now, 

right now

I tremble

one thing

One thing that 

must never change 

is a life with my Father 

Side by side it must always be;

He is my best friend. 

He holds my hand. 

He’s been there through everything. 

He comes with me. 

trust

Do you trust me?

Somewhere I read that 

you trust a person

when they know you. 

new plans

want to look up 

and find myself on solid ground 

not wonder if a tossing sea

is the only foundation around 

want to hold something 

tangible as the trunk of this tree 

lean against it for shade 

let it firmly hold and stabilize me 

you matter

little by little 

you may begin to assume 

you don’t matter anymore

but, you do 

every blade of grass 

that carried you here 

has made the world better

because they brought you near 

laughing

tell me something 

no one else knows 

but the catch is:

make it funny 

let’s text in memes 

and see how long it goes 

but the catch is:

they have to be related 

the upkeep

the ache is sharp in moments 

the sky is darkening 

and sharp when the sun

is shining 

the wretchedness overtakes me 

at times when the clouds are storming 

and even when the stars 

are sparkling 

generous

when they opened their hands 

they were empty 

yet they tried to do something

anyway 

they said “with the strength of my back

i’ll try to make up for the lack”

and it helped at the end of the day  

sand & salt

where i go i will break 

like the waves 

and crash 

like the rolling tides 

be buried in the sand

like broken shells

skin

maybe if i wrote my words 
on my skin,
you would look at me 

then

Wintering ✨

remember when the snow 

nipped our fingers 

and you grabbed mine and put them in your pocket?

and i laughed because

you looked at me silly 

and my stomach was flittering

the fire pit burned

and our words spilled over drinks 

and that’s the first time

i heard your voice crack

and saw that tear in your eye 

and i knew i didn’t want to leave