Your Fear

What can I say

to change the way

you reason all the

scary parts away?

Every ounce of me

resonates certainty

that you wish to be

everything but free.

But you fear the ounce

will want the world,

and then your control

will become unfurled.

Gold

When I close

the door to my heart

And fold within

and fall apart

Bless the soul
that lets me know

I am worth
my weight in gold

Polarizing

I am a certain way
I get it
It is not for everyone

Soulship

Hello, you!
With the kind eyes!
Come right this way.
I need your surprise.

It is who you are.
The push and the drive.
It is the respect you give
And the love you survive.

Silence

Tell me to go 

and I’ll go 

Tell me to stay

and I will,

Tell me to wait 

forever and ever 

And I will hold on

even still.

But tell me nothing 

And the world 

fades away,

Pill

It WAS perfect,
wasn't it?
How can I
forget it?

So, send me a pill
filled with the curse
you carry.
Fill it to the
very brim.
So that I can forget
the way you do.
And move on fully
from within.

So I can forget
joyful expressions
kind eyes
caring hands,
and that there exists
in this world
that kind of soul
in a man.

Please, I beg you.
Send me a pill.
I will take it quickly.
I promise I will.

Because the life I live
begs only that I wait
and do nothing but sit
full of love and hate.
Until you create a way
to comfort me in this state.

I feared you would forget me
And anything I could have ever meant.
And now I am wracked with sobs
because it is my heart that can't forget.

It doesn't care that you don't love
me the same anymore.
It doesn't care that I am alone
in this as before.
That I am standing on the other side
of a closed door.
And that your eyes will never again smile at me
as if I am adored.
The person you are now,
I don't know.
It is the person I knew
that my heart aches for.

Send me that pill,
that cursed drug and saving grace,
Let me take it and forget
The most perfect moments of time and space.

Let me be ignorant
that we ever existed.
I prefer to not have loved at all
Than to know what I am missing.

-aq

Deep Breath

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A post shared by @lesnspired on Aug 27, 2019 at 5:40am PDT

Healing File

May my God 
care for memories 
that keep getting lodged
within the hidden places
of my heart.
May he help me tuck them
neatly away 
in my own healing
file labeled:
The Past.

-aq

Call me Resilience

What can I say?
As much as I try,
my heart is the same.
I need an overhaul
better yet, a removal,
and to change my name.

So that I am not me
But someone stronger,
And more resilient.
Instead of someone who
runs and hides and cries,
And sits in sentiment.

depression

depression
rages like a quiet flood
deep in its clutches
i sink before i know it

it pulls me under
im gasping for breath
and sometimes i submit
to the quiet in the depth

Look

look in my eyes
and see it
past the desperation
the sadness
the helplessness
keep going
until you find it
feel in it's depths...
there it is
a small flickering light
it's hope.

🕯️
-aq

Love is Forever

Love is forever.
It does not fail.
In a temporary world,
I need this detail.

Even if I must resign
myself to this moment;
It will not last forever.
I remind myself
in faith and with hope,
We will be together.

The Sunlight Poured In

Tears spilled over
Anxiety racked my throat
my breaths coming
in high racing gulps

"I can't stop. I can't stop."
were my thoughts.

You Are a Book

You are a book
someone may take off the shelf.

Know that if
you are taken down and perused,
If your pages are touched
and a finger traces your letters with care,
each page tenderly turned,
eyes glued to each word,
if you are brought close to them
so they can drink in your scent deeply,
and you change them,
and even if they, with love,
appreciate your story with sighs,
they may always, still,
when done,
place you right back on the shelf.


You are s t i l l a beautiful story.


-aq/lesnspired


☄PoetryOutLoud

Burdensome

You need not worry.
Yes, I can walk away.
You will not be bothered.
There is nothing you need say.

When I look at your face
and find emptiness on that day,
I will absolutely turn
and quickly walk away.

1:03

Who are you?
Where is my friend?
The kindness,
The joy in the nearness,
The simple love and ease. 
It has all evaporated.
All that is left
are awkward laughs
and shifted eyes,
complicated energy,
and
        n        T    
      A   x  I a    y.
                   



-aq/lesnspired

Together

Give me your hand 

let us go 

Never will I leave 

you alone. 

We’ll stand the storm

hand in hand 

and stick our bare feet 

in wet sand. 

You’ll play guitar

and I will sing 

And we’ll smile at

whatever life will bring. 

The Dance

1,2,3
1,2,3
How we danced
1,2,3

Swung me around
and then dipped me
underneath the
big oak tree
said 1,2,3, and a 1,2,3

Leaves & Promises

All the words

came and went,

like leaves on a breeze 

slow, then quick;

They could not be caught 

my efforts spent,

I wanted only to be sure

they existed then. 

Were they brown or gold

or red with yellow tint?

Goodness! My memory!

What was it again?

Did they land somewhere

safe and unbent;

and when they first fell

with all their intent, 

did they plan to carry away

all that was meant?

Should I pretend I never saw 

leaves bursting of colors of Fall

surround me and promise me 

to never and always and all?

If I stumble upon them 

in all their colorful dedication,

shall I just crush and stomp them 

beyond any recognition?

Can words spouted 

in seeming sincerity 

die, as they travel further away;

and does the heart that

throws leaves all around,

want to erase all that they say?

and if so, then perhaps 

such a person should stay far away from leaves. 

-aq/lesnspired

Fake

   HA

          HA

HA

                    HA

HA

I thought I knew you,

Thought you a friend;

What a conclusion

awaited me at the end!

Kind Words

"What beautiful sunshine!" they say,
"Oh yes what a beautiful day!"

And soon after in the distance comes
"and you, too, are beautiful in every way."

I turn, but no one spoke.
There is no person there.

But the breeze carried this to me
and I heard it loud and clear.

Aurora Borealis

I see you are making me disappear,
so that you can live without fear.
If killing me means you can live,
then do away with me quickly, dear.

But in this other dimension, far away,
Where your peace of mind does not reside,
Love and care is here to stay,
My devotion refusing to run and hide.

The Real Me

the beast that is me

be glad you’ve escaped 

you knew not the monster 

that dwells deep in its cave 

I am told this is true 

people love you at a glance 

but when they get the real you

they regret they took the chance 

Gifted

For a reason I am still here
A living, breathing soul
For the LIFE of me I fear
That I may not ever know

What my true gift could be
Who I really matter to
What words could bring me
To heal the heart of you

Can I go now?

I am ready to go. 

To close my eyes and rest. 

To lay my heart down in peace. 

To help my body find its comfort, 

Its soul, its home.  

every inch not caring 

not restless for what it never receives 

and a final smile upon my lips 

my heart oblivious that it grieves 

Hit Me, Go Ahead

throw me down

then grab me up 

shake me violently 

twist my arm

and punch my gut 

hit me until i’m free 

of this pain 

that brings sharp rain

and bruises where you can’t see 

Lessons Learned

and sometimes

sometimes holes are filled
sometimes the light comes from within, flowing up and out
sometimes it stops time for you, and the beauty in the quiet can emerge
sometimes you give energy to those around you, letting them be there for you
sometimes these same hands grab you so that you stand on solid ground
sometimes this dimension has everything you need
sometimes...
sometimes...

-aq

Mean

I can make you hate me
Just give me a bit more time
You will laugh that you ever thought
to one day want to be mine

I can make you hate me
Watch me laugh at you!
Watch me point my finger
and make fun of everything you do!

I can whine like a baby
And throw in your face your words!
I can act so superficial
You will wonder what you heard

You will place a hand to your brow
and sigh in relief
I can make you so very glad
That you were made to leave

I can make you hate me
Just wait and see
And a distant forgetful person
Will be the easiest thing to be

So you just watch me do it
Become irritating and mean
Just wait a little while
And your feelings will wipe clean

I can make you hate me
You just wait and see.

-aq

Break Camp

Get away

Leave me alone

Once I know

You called me home

You walked inside

You turned on lights

Gave sunshine to my days

Gave stars to my nights

What If