Tell me, how do I describe the feeling
when I barely know it myself?
That urges me to quit now
and fold within myself?
The sunshine is on my face
and I am armed with fortitude.
I laugh and feel the most me
when my energy is flowing in multitude.
Then suddenly the clouds roll in
And I am thrust into the storm
to face the desolate edge
always waiting to cause me harm
There are days I can forget
That I am the loneliest of persons
Even when I know there are others
Who fight for darker reasons
This can feel too much
because it means the most to me
To not have to explain my heart
in its purest form of sincerity
I want to be the type of girl
always full of joy and vitality
So I hide the part that
begs in an alley in poverty
This type of girl is not accepted
She cannot plainly be
For then she is said
To not be grateful enough to count her blessings
I try to look at all the good
Each moment God gives freely
and be content that my happiness
is not the priority
and it won't be
so, woman, stop reaching for it to be
I have had to face this truth
and the cause of my stumbling
I have torn this heart away, my enemy
to face the starkness of reality
Perhaps it will land somewhere in a forest
with the evergreens
and become buried and dormant
like my soul has had to be
Then it will grow roots
and climb out of the earth with leaves
to bear blossoms of the darkest red
and lightest of lilac pinks
It will showcase the pain
but also, the gentle waves of loving
that will be mine one day
When I am rewarded for enduring
If I can make it
Maybe I'll be rewarded for forgetting me
Don't look at my life
thinking that you know
And say "You will be fine;"
When you know nothing of
my battle days
and the passing wretched nights
There are hours I just cannot believe
That I could ever be alright
-Les'Nspired
