Nothing is quite like what you were for me
Is it the nostalgia swaying my view?
Is it the nostalgia swaying my view?
Is it not a perfect memory?
I am usually the giver,
but with you I was always receiving.
You taught me so much about my value
About what to expect and not to waste time with
You taught me how to be there
and let someone else be fully themselves
How to welcome everyone in kindness
but also, you taught me to welcome myself
to see that I am beautiful every day
To not change
But lately it's been so difficult
I have not had the courage to let go of things
and people that have not been kind to me
You would roll your eyes in mock exasperation
You would call me by that nickname
and you would remind me in your familiar way...
But you aren't here, are you?
So, what is left?
But this.
This is what is left.
How do I push away grain
when it reminds me so much of the mountain?
Even in small ways: its color, its texture
suddenly I remember small gestures and words
And I forget that the same words can be expressed
but they will not mean the same things
I am trying to do better.
I need to.
God give me courage to
stop giving so much of myself away
to keep climbing up
and not down
to keep moving forward
while stopping a minute and listening
to what my soul is aching to say
- Les'Nspired
~iykyk~
