Seeing clearly

ah, i see, i got it now;

it's what i saw some time ago
i just wish you would have been up front about
how soon you let it all go.

it would have helped
to match where you were
to stop kidding myself
and then believe what you let me know.

i only fault you this:
your omission and your fear,
to not speak up and let an old friend see
that you were no longer here.

it is your right
i've always let you have it
it is yours, run hard with your heart.
i tried my best not to hold
on to what was never mine,
right from the very start.

even when you pushed
even when you could not see reason
why was i always the one seeing so clearly?
when i wished I could let go
and let the world free-flow
i had to hold on to reality so firmly.

i wish i could say that in the end
it helped me to be this careful
but i always knew I was doomed, truth be told;
because women give too much
and they feel so much
and we've not always mastered the art of saying no.

-aq/lesnspired