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For someone
I want to be soft
and kind
and loving
and good
For someone
I want to feel gentle
and tender
and special
and sweet
Like a girl basking
in the sun,
in a field of wild flowers;
Like an innocent,
full of love
in the quiet golden hour.
But I am none
of these things.
I am rough
and scarred
and broken.
I feel dark
and experienced
and used.
I am in a field
of wild burning crashing hope
that died much too,
oh much too soon,
and frankly,
for anyone,
I am much too, much too
hard to love.
-aq 2020
