There is a difference
when you love a man you marry
who hurts you with his hands,
and spits out demands.
You might make the choice
to leave.
The father you had before,
He told you your worth
and made you strong enough to see:
"I am better than this"
and reassured,
you might believe.
But if that man
is your home,
and the only love you know,
and all you believe
are the words that he throws,
the ugliness that he shows,
it is hard to see.
There is no foundation
of any worth
since the day of your birth.
There is no possibility,
that you might see reality:
that you are not to blame
for the outburst, and the shame.
"Will today be the day
I am looked at with hate,
for just being alive
with limitations I can't shake?"
You live in this house
every day as you grow.
Inside, your own world builds
and you don't even know.
It is separate than what you show,
because it is the only place you can go,
to pretend
you are not hallow.
You carry it inside
like a genetic code,
"I did something wrong,
I am flawed, I know."
It becomes who you are,
and travels every road.
No one can prove it a lie.
It can only fade with consistency and time
...and who really has time for that?
Ah, the difference of the relationships
with the same man,
makes all the difference in the world.
You were a strong-willed woman,
and I was just a little girl;
And while you sought to be free,
there was no escape for me.
---
Thank you, my heavenly Father,
for being my escape.
You taught me love,
and that I am worth so much;
even when others' limitations
prevented them from showing me,
telling me, and raising me, as such.
You helped me climb out
of an inner world,
that in fact, isn't real;
And live amongst
your people
that care about how I feel.
Thank you for your steadfastness.
You were there all along.
You saw the moments of fear,
and held my hand, made me strong.
It is only with YOU,
your constancy and tender care,
that I can be made to feel
so full of love, and have enough to share;
And to forgive those
who have their own
inner fight and burdens to bear.
-aq/lesnspired
