Coming into my life
bringing rages of color and sound,
And then when it is inconvenient
my wonder is thrown upon the ground.
I am special so very special
Once it must have been so,
And now I am just captured space
whose value you will forego.
I am captured by the mightiness
and the awe of a possession,
But when the sky is dark and I am alone
I wonder of the truth in my obsession.
Do I hold the key
to unlock a secret room
of delight and forever and being the one?
or is it that I am dancing to the music
with a false certainty
only to find myself alone when the music is done?
I am out of breath from laughing
and stop twirling with my arms open and free.
and I look around and find darkness
and stop short and realize. It is just me.
Then I look down at my treasure.
Then what is this key for?
And as I am crumbling within myself,
in a very back corner appears a door.
An ironic laugh escapes me
because I now understand,
I recognize this solitary door
And its key is in my hand.
So I look around one last time
Because every heart still hopes,
and I sigh and know within myself
that this is how it copes.
I put the key in and turn to open,
tears running down my face,
ah yes, this is a well known place to me.
it holds all of my disgrace.
I let it come out to consume
a heart already gone,
I walk inside and disappear.
I am where I belong.
-a.q.
